Good morning bookies. Your friendly neighborhood bookseller is irritated today.

See, he thought that, while the whole issue of destroying kids books because of some illusory and ridiculous worry about lead in their ink was a huge waste of time, he also thought that, eventually, common sense would win out, the books would be declared treasures instead of dangers and we could all go back to read our original copies of The Bobbsey Twins.

Foolish bookseller. This is the government we’re talking about. Since when does common sense come into play with the government.

What we now have is completely codified nonsense. If you wish to read through the government legalese at this link, be my guest. http://www.cpsc.gov/businfo/frnotices/fr09/determination.pdf In essence, what it says is that the commission might like to grant exemptions to the idiocy of the CPSIA, but that the law is so worded that it cannot be done. Therefore, all of those delightful kiddie books you owned growning up are CONTRABAND. That’s right, ditch ’em. No, wait, don’t ditch them, then the evil lead that might be in their ink will leech into the ground water. Burn them instead, maybe pretend you’re a Nazi. Wear black, hold a comb under your nose and pretend to be Hitler; the issue is identical, burning books because they may cause harm, one for their ideas, the other because someone wrote legislation and brought into play the Law of Unintended Consequences. So, burn away and have fun!

Hold on! Don’t do that either. Then you’re putting all of that lead into the air. So what are you supposed to do with them?

Who knows? The government doesn’t solve your problems for you, it simply lets you know what is and what is not a problem, how you solve it is your business. Just make sure it’s okay with them, even if they cannot tell you what is and isn’t okay. But whatever you do, don’t let a kid anywhere near those kid books. After all, if there could possibly be any lead in their ink, just imagine what sort of horrible message they might contain.

And just so you know, it appears that passing those beloved books on as heirlooms is also illegal.

Aren’t bureaucrats cute? You do have to wonder, though, as all of those precious books are being destroyed, whether or not just a few of those who voted for this horror aren’t silently delighted that such subversive drivel as Beatrix Potter is being obliterated. Smiling at the thought. Maybe with a black comb held under their nose.